3am Hypomanic ramblings🤪.....

So, I'm laying here in bed with my beautiful girlfriend, having binged the 4 episodes of “Love rats” together. We always lay down after eating and I always pronounce “SHALL I PUT THE SHIT ON?”…….It's our Groundhog day moment. I'm now hearing “I got you babe” by Sonny & Cher and imagining a mad Bill Murray whacking the wireless radio for the 10th morning in a row. I fucking love Bill Murray. Shit, now I'm worried it will turn out he’s a pervert. I can't listen to Michael Jackson, Marilyn Manson and other pervert’s music like Gary Glitter. It started with him.

BTW if you haven't come across Ethel Cain check her out. Her latest album “Perverts” is the coldest but boldest album I’ve ever heard. It's a travesty to me that more people will listen to Michael Jackson music in the next 24 hours than will ever listen to Ethel’s masterpiece.

……Tonight it was pizza. We spent £50 in Sainsbury's because so many of our favourite gluten free vegan treats were on the nectar. We went in for Sanex shower gel, washing up liquid and a “White Rabbit”🐰 pizza each 🍕

We’re all Alice in Wonderland these days 🎩 We’re all fucked…. up shit creek…. Hard up the ass…. without a paddle.

I said to the lad working at the checkout “I’m skint, we came in for stuff to wash our bodies, stuff to wash the dishes and a couple of pizza’s for dinner. Now I’ve spent half a ton”. The lad gave me a knowing nod and said something like “this place has a powerful energy for that sorta thing”. The guy’s 18 and he can sum this world up better than Nietzsche, Plato and Aristotle.

I arranged to meet up with 2 friends tomorrow for red wine🍷🍷🍷 because I fucking deserve it, and so do they. I picked the same spot where I’d gatecrashed friend number one’s solitary meal and we ended glugging a Chateauneuf de Pape. The sun set was immense. We live in a special place by the sea and I know stuff will happen here, because a lot of stuff has already happened here and happens here every day. It feels important. Because it is. Two of us have COVID now though, so it's cancelled. I might not even be able to go on a dog walk with another friend the day after. These were the 2 things I was looking forward to this week.

Our best friend died a painful death recently. He was the loveliest man ever. He was, and is an Angel 😇 I speak to him every day because his lovely wife told me to. He gives me lots of advice, mostly in the form of very clear answers. I’ve never had that sort of clarity in my life before, but at least I do now. The last thing he texted to me on his death bed was “Love you mate xxx”. He saw my message saying “luvooooOO too bud🥰”. I cried like I’ve never cried before at his funeral, and I’m sure I will never cry like that again.

I need to speak to my Grandad again. He helped me lots, gave me courage and made me think in serious ways. My Grandad was a healer ❤️‍🩹

There's things in life that can hurt us. There's things in life that make us sad. Some things make us question ourselves and others, especially the one’s closest to us, but what if we could all just be each other’s angels?

😇 🪽😇🪽😇🪽😇🪽😇🪽